Relationships

I have just gotten back from a week long trip up north to see family. When I'm with my parents I feel (for the most part) the same as I did ten or even fifteen years ago. Since having my own children the feeling of being someone else's child has become a bit more distant, but I still seek my parent's approval on things and my mom is still quick to tell me to take out my contacts at the end of the day because they are probably dried out :)
While we were visiting my parent's lake house my oldest daughter wanted to see old home movies of me when I was younger. Honestly, I was shocked to see how we all looked. It is the same kind of effect of when you see a child everyday you don't realize how much they have grown or changed over time. As I was laughing about my way too frizzy hair, retainer, and my sister's use of hair products a familiar face came across the television. None other than Burnscat, someone I have written about, went across the screen in her majorette outfit with her warm smile doing her routine perfectly. Oh my how we have changed, I guess 15 years will do that to your appearance (only getting better with time of course ;) I started to wonder what we might have been discussing when my mom was taping us. Friends, makeup, and gossip, among other things were probably at the top of our list.
I tried to call Burns today and I had a list of things at the top of my head that I'm sure we would have gone over: her mom, upcoming events, and the opposite sex. This is the great thing about relationships. They aren't dependent upon looks, hairstyles, and good ones don't change when your high school majorette jacket is no longer cool to wear.

Talking me down from the ledge

Our summers are always full of travel. My husband and I don't like our older daughter to miss out on preschool, soccer games, gymnastic routines, etc., all which get going at full steam come September. So, we jam pack in family vacation, "just the girls" vacation, and traveling with Daddy's work all into three crazy months.
Once we get to our destination it is nice to have a break from routine, to see the kid's faces light up at new sights and sounds, and, obviously, to not have to cook every meal.
Another mom once told me that family vacations were never really vacations at all. This really troubled me and I have pushed that thought to the very darkest corner of my mind even when I am in the depths of planning lists, confirming flights, and occasionally digging out my children from half packed suitcases (exhibit A to your left) at home in the days prior to our great getaways.
This is where my husband comes in at the perfect time, hugs me, reassures me, and says something to put it all back into perspective. I could write everyday about my husband, and I optimistically think that all other wives could too, about how he really is my magic, my better half, and my best friend, but one thing he does really well in our relationship is to talk me back from a frantic ledge of kids, commotion, and craziness, not just in relation to traveling, but snippets that cloud otherwise sunny days. Some mornings I just crave to hear that garage door opening to know that some sanity and understanding is about to walk through our kitchen door.
Even tonight. My husband was working and the girls and I went to go visit him. My day had turned almost sour around dinner time with trying to make dinner on my own while my younger one thought it would be fun to pour her sippy cup of milk onto her head, you get me, one of those days. We walk into his workplace (94 degree heat, a few hundred other people, loud, we'll go into his occupation some other time) and I was as happy as if I had just walked in to have a spa treatment. There is something about that man that calms my soul.
So tomorrow I start to pack for our "just girls" trip and there are a few things I can be sure of: lists will be flowing, I will be scooping out at least one overly excited little girl from a suitcase, and thankfully I know that my sanity is only a hug away.

Truly Gifts from God

In the trenches of stay home mommy land I sometimes forget that my two little angels are truly Gifts from God. I have thought recently about how I handle other gifts. I have a special box to keep one in, make sure another doesn't get water marks on it, and always handle others with care. Although it is a good thing I don't keep my children in special boxes I can't say that I always treat my children as I would fine china. AND, being honest, I think this may have gotten worse with having the second child.
Case in point... a few months ago my youngest had gotten up from her nap and I went into her room to get her (don't get me wrong, moments of getting your child up from their nap when they are warm and snuzzly are still like Christmas everyday)and I pick her up and feel something jutting out of her onesie. A quick peak in revealed a baby brush underneath her onesie that I had somehow missed before I had put her down for her nap. Yikes!
I think most moms at certain points feel rushed, may look at their children and think, "their hair is fine for today," or, "their nails can wait one more day before I trim them," etc. When I think like this a visual usually comes into my mind. My sister, a pretty blanket rolled out, several products laid about and my sister's daughter (Miss Thing) getting her royal after bath treatment.
This visual is from the first time I had actually met Miss Thing (who happens to be only 13 days older than my youngest). During this time frame I was adjusting as best I knew how to life with two children and how to manage it all. So, after bathtime for me was more of a relay exchange between my two children, making sure my older daughter had washed all of her 2,000 body parts, and getting in another feeding before bedtime for the youngest. I watched my sister and Miss Thing, mesmorized for a moment, remembering that these children are so much more than the 3 meals a day, making sure they are learning and experiencing (and leaving a mess along the way) little creatures. They are Gifts.
I am sure my sister has moments like every other mom does, but she is such an inspiration to me because 9 times out of 10 when I look at her being a mother she is doing things so right, and so articulate, and I think God must be smiling down at her and is so pleased that his special gift to her is being treated the way it was meant to be.
I can't promise that my children won't ever have watermarks left on them like fine china, but because of the example my sister has set I do make sure to take extra time with my girls and occasionally give them the royal treatment :)

S-P-R-A

When I was in my third year of teaching (actually my last full year of teaching before I became I stay at home mommy) I was teaching an accelerated fourth grade math class. I had approached our Head Teacher about not using the fourth grade textbook, but rather pulling from other resources that was better suited for the kids I was teaching. The Head Teacher fully agreed and I was on my way.
About three weeks later a representative from the textbook publication was visiting our school and happened to stop in on my math class and questioned why I wasn't using the textbook. Ironically the Head Teacher was showing her around and looked at me and sputtered, "Mrs. G I had no idea you weren't using the textbook." I was floored. I couldn't believe adults lied, were conniving, and manipulative. I just wasn't used to it, not after my place of employment, a small community private pool, from the ages of 13-21. I have come to learn what a rarity my first job was and miss the seemingly innocent nature of it.
Don't be fooled, we worked hard. We cleaned up other people's unmentionables, had garbage juice running down our leg at the end of the day from doing trash runs to the dumpster, and smelled of stale popcorn from the endless batches we would make for patrons, but we respected each other, and I really think had an unconditional love for the pool, our bosses, our patrons, and our fellow staff members. I feel really fortunate that my first boss I have ever worked for could always put you at ease with his smile, respected you, so you in turn respected him, and you knew at the end of the day had told you things straight forward and would have your back in any given situation.
I have tried now in my adult mind to go back and wonder if the success of this work dynamic was because we grew up with these people and some were our best friends. Both points are true, but I worked with a kid who wanted horns instead of a trendy haircut and I loved him just the same as my best friends that I had the privilege of guarding and coaching with too. There was just a perfect recipe there that I haven't found to be duplicated in any of my workplaces or my husband's.
Unfortunately the "textbook incident" wasn't the last time I have felt so let down by adults in workplaces and think what I wouldn't give just to be in that pool environment again, even if I did have a little garbage juice running down my leg.