Ugh is the best way to describe today. It has definitely been "just one of them days" (as Monica used to sing so well, does anyone else still love that song besides me?).
Ever since we got home from our vacation our oldest daughter has been testing her limits. I have found her to go through cycles much like a roller coaster. She will have really good moments, and then I can see her dipping down to test her limits, almost to make sure I will still set her boundaries.
Take today for example. I caught her in not one, but two fibs. Little fibs, but as a mom total heartbreak hotel (another great song by the way) and equating to "a horrible day at work" (also equating to a massive migraine). Thank God that these two instances happened prior to her gymnastics class.
For our oldest daughter gymnastics is a place for her to "get her jumpies out" and learn good technique on handstands and cartwheels. For me this hour means gripe, therapy, and rejuvenation sessions. Some of the other moms I have met at my oldest's gymnastics class are my lifeline on days like today. They are never ones to say "never my child" (and let me warn all of you moms who say these fateful words, tomorrow your child will be doing whatever it is the other moms are talking about), but have a perfect way of putting things into perspective and help me to laugh about whatever mom adventure one of us is facing any week.
Obviously days as a mommy never come with certainty, but thankfully with the help of MG's gymnastics class I am certain of one thing. Tomorrow will be a better day ~
Do things just ever happen to you that give you that yick feeling? When they happen to me I can feel my heart drop and usually it is followed by tears or some inappropriate around my five and one year-old words muttered under my breath.
Unfortunately I had one of these moments the other day. I got word of news that wasn't what I expected and delivered not in the way I had envisioned. In these moments some people, after their initial reaction, close in and deal with it on their own. Others, like me, have their go-to people. I find strength, optimism, and a better perspective in others when I can't find it myself. With this particular situation I knew my go-to person would have to be none other than my old college roomate, and one of my best friends, whom my dad so lovingly named (and still calls her to this day), Keebler.
Keebler was just one of those people that I knew God had placed in my life pretty much as soon as I met her. She also happens to be one of those people that others want to surround themselves with because she has this way of seeing the best in people and loving them even with their faults.
Silly example ~ in college Keebler liked ketchup on her eggs. Everytime she would do this a guy that sat at our table in the dining hall would make fun of her and give her terrible, horrid examples of what her eggs looked like. Keebler had a way of not only laughing it off, but somehow showing this guy love to the point that he would come and give her a hug when he saw her. Now, I know she isn't perfect, and I remember what names she called him when we were exiting the dining hall and out of earshot, but Keebler always knew how to forgive and forget, not to stress about the little stuff, and laugh through it all.
Now, some things have changed since college. I wouldn't be caught dead in my "50% Angel/50% Devil" shirt (as we were sporting in the picture above), and I don't get to eat breakfast with Keebler everyday, but her values and viewpoints do pop up inside me in difficult moments, and thankfully if I need a reminder to put things into perspective she is only a phone call away.
I am known by a lot of different titles. "Coaches Wife," "Sister," "Ms. Lyndi," (is this a southern thing? Anyone younger than me refers to me as this), and even "Church Nursery Coordinator." However, by far my most coveted title is "Maddi and Kayda's Mama." With two beautiful girls I have come to understand in a whole new light the phrase "to whom much is given, much is expected." I really do strive to do right by my children. I want my children to love their family surroundings and hopefully one day have their friends feel comfortable enough to walk through our front door and know they will be loved, safe, and respected. Lucky for me I had excellent examples friends' moms growing up.
One friend, Katrin, had a mom that was in a word: amazing. She ran a home that you always felt welcome in. I knew I could go in their side door at any time, day, night, meal time, and I wouldn't be intruding. Sue baby (as we affectionately called her) was the kind of mother that as Katrin and I would be chatting about something in her room, would walk in with freshly made strawberry shortcake ( I know, it sounds like a movie, but I vividly remember this happening) still warm. She was the kind of mother you hoped to run into in the grocery parking lot because she always had your side and a kind smile to give you. Even Suebaby's look was always put together. I now love wearing chunky bracelets because it reminds me of her and how it would dress up the most casual of outfits on her.
However, even more important than the way she treated her daughter's friends was the example she engrained in me of how to treat your daughter. She had the best way to deal with situations, make light of things, and more than anything else, make her daughter laugh even when she wanted to cry. I'm sure SB wasn't thinking of the tutorial she was giving me 15 years ago on how to raise a daughter or how to treat your daughter's friends, but I wish I would have been taking notes.
I feel her somedays in me when I am disciplining my children SB style (Katrin once told me when she was little and she and her brother would drive by the dumpster Sue Baby would say that was where naughty children went; love it) and pray that her spirit not only lives in me, but because of her ways and what I have learned from her will be in my daughters and be felt in my daughter's friends too. Now if I could only get down how to make strawberry shortcake.
Motherhood is most definitely a delayed gratification job. Most other occupations you find some sort of instant gratification. All of your students getting A's on a quiz, showing they do in fact get what you are teaching about; a coach watching his/her athlete perform beyond their expectations; a business showing a profit. Motherhood does not produce such instant shows of success. You go day to day, praying that you are doing the right thing, reading the right advice columns, taking notes from role models, and some more praying at the end of the day. Sometimes though, you get little glimpses that maybe you are on the right track, and that you are somehow training competent, loving to-be adults who will survive and thrive in the world beyond their playrooms. One of these moments happened on our latest vacation to Orlando.
On our first day of visiting the pool Maddi instantly took to a couple of children (visiting from Germany). It was the first time on vacation that I wasn't entirely in charge of playing with her. By the second day she had met an nine year-old boy whom she became fast friends with. During one pool session I had sent my husband to the pool with M while I stayed in the hotel room while our little one napped. The baby and I came to the pool after her nap and my husband said that Mads hadn't needed him! She was off running a pool game with her new found friends. On our last day there, her nine year-old friend gave her his parent's email as their way to stay in touch. Honestly, at this moment I couldn't have felt any better had I gotten all 10's on an evaluation.
M was actually VERY shy really up until this year. We encouraged her to open up to others the way she did when she was in the safety of our home. You never really know if you are teaching them the way you should and just hope for the best. Watching her make some new friends and be social in a completely new setting was such a little thing, but such a big victory in my parenting.
